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Using Positive Psychology – assignment for my MG1 students
Here is your first online assignment:
Please watch this short interview (9′ 16”) with a Harvard assistant clinical professor and comment on the ideas that you find interesting or impossible to apply in real life, or both. There’s no maximum number of words your commentary should consist of but the minimum length is 100 words. I will read and evaluate your online commentaries regarding this issue, but I’m afraid I might not be able to respond to each of them separately. However, I’m strongly encouraging you to comment on your colleagues’ interpretation of the issue as this will add more visibility to your contribution as well as to theirs. Thank you.
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As far as I'm concerned, the most important law in the Univers, is the law of atraction, and based on this principle, all the things in the world are functioning.
Like all the things in the Univers that are atracting each other, we can say that humans are like living a magnet, with a positive and negative pole. The positive one atracts the good things in life, and the negative one the less fortunate ones.
We all desire to atract as many good things as we can posible atract, like happines, wealth, health, richness, but we don't allways manage to succed it.
The key of the succes is in our mind, in the way of thinking, in the way of acting. Therefor if we think positive we can easily atract what we desire. The most important thing is to be patient and focus on what we desire.
It is said that 2-4% of our thoughts are concious, and the rest of 96-98% are unconcious. The last ones are consuming our energy and holding us back from fullfilling our desires. That's the way we should focus on the positive ones.
Univers likes order, and it is natural for us to like it to and to have in our minds and thoughts.
If we have a wish there's got to be a clear strategy in fullfilling it. Chaos is wasting energy and time.
In conclusion, the law of atraction says that we can atract in life everything we want. We only need to have a positive mind, imediat actions and consecvence. Every wish becomes true!
To finish up, I must say that nothing is perfect: happiness goes away, it isn't forever. Sometimes, it enters a wormhole and gets stuck in the other dimension, but we must not despair:
"For everything there is a season,
And a time for every matter under heaven:
A time to be born, and a time to die;
A time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted;
A time to kill, and a time to heal;
A time to break down, and a time to build up;
A time to weep, and a time to laugh;
A time to mourn, and a time to dance;
A time to throw away stones, and a time to gather stones together;
A time to embrace, And a time to refrain from embracing;
A time to seek, and a time to lose;
A time to keep, and a time to throw away;
A time to tear, and a time to sew;
A time to keep silence, and a time to speak;
A time to love, and a time to hate,
A time for war, and a time for peace."
Ecclesiastes 3:1-8
Reading again this famous paragraph from Ecclesiastes kind of gave me a glimpse of peace and happiness as well :P Though I remember having a part of it written on the door of the fridge back home and it sort of made me miss home a little. Still, thanks for sharing it!
In today's world, in which everything is distorted, how can we blend in these two different points of view: pursuing a goal as opposed to "moment to moment experience"? If we will ever forget TO JUST BE, then there is high time for us to meditate, to love, to be thankful, to rest, to breathe, to feel and nothing more. What is happiness if not peace, a pure soul, nirvana, the essence of our humanity, the sarting point for everything, a complete universe in which every part is distinct?
"Mindfulness" states yet again the rational side of the human being: we are capable to control, behold, our own happiness! By doing this, we do not give up spontaneity and it doesn't neccesarily mean that we focus on "now and here" because we now know this will make us feel better. On the contrary, "mindfulness" means altering the routine, braking the habits and giving up useless needs. "Mindfulness" brings us, as a spiritual being, to a whole new level which gives us the possibilty to rejoy, to be grateful, to get involved in every action. Living moment by moment is natural, only that we forgot to do so along the way.
The unique character of every human soul gives our different perspectives on how happiness can be achieved. On the one hand, some of us like to take action, we have a dream or a purpose which we know achieving it means supreme happiness; therefore, there is no happiness without action. On the other hand, some of us believe that happiness means balance, it comes from our soul's inner works: you can not find happiness if you try too hard.
Why do we try so hard to reach happiness? What do we know about it? Is it a physical or a psychical state, can it be put into words, is it a goal? Is there another state of mind for us besides happiness? Is it not our primordial, edenic feature?
The professor gives solutions to a problem which still poses a lot of questions. Nevertheless, the perspective of seeing the positive side of ourselves, of the others and of the actions that affect us or the rest, sounds promising. The professor opened a pathway which is accessible to everyone, a pathway to be happy and in terms with yourself and the world. This pathway is "the practice of mindfulness".
Alexandre Dumas, a famous writer, on the other hand, tried a different approach on this concept by stating that “There is neither happiness nor misery in the world; there is only the comparison of one state to another, nothing more. He who has felt the deepest grief is best able to experience supreme happiness. We must have felt what it is to die, that we may appreciate the enjoyments of life.” He refers to the fundamental happiness, the fulfillment of basic needs. But is it enough? Even in matters of happiness do not we have higher standards?
In the end, all comes to the idea of going with the flow, live on the spur of the moment, seize your happiness keep it tightly.
Some put the achievement of goals as a source of happiness while others put emphasis on small occurrences. I for one appreciate both of them, as one comes hand in hand with the other one. After accomplishing a long raving goal brings me satisfaction of a work well done, what is the best thing to do than relaxing, taking a moment off, and feel and hear the hustle and bustle of the city, the street chats people have, the raindrops or snowflakes that fall on your rosy cheeks? After all, we are as happy as we allow ourselves to be and that means that happiness is represented after all by the harmony between men and the life he leads.
Happiness is a tricky concept that for decades in a row not even the brightest minds could put it in a definition that would wrap up all its hidden motifs. Why is hard to attain it and even harder to preserve it? The only answer scientists came up with is how to find it, that is in the little things we do. Engaging in various activities or spending precious moments beside your family and friends build up the grounds happiness is founded on. The next step consists in seizing those moments and not recalling them, because meditation makes us live in the past and hope for the best in the future thus forgetting to enjoy our real, present life.
As doctor Ronald D. Siegel said, we born with a genetic set point, a predetermined threshold upon which we raise emotions and the positive oscillations in our feelings turn into a feeling of well being that is happiness. It is my firm belief that each man’s joyfulness depends on the type of person he/she is, the manner he/she can be satisfied and the type of happiness he/she is aiming for.
“Happiness is something that you never reach, but it is worth seeking it for your entire life”
Being happy is very often a matter of choice and attitude. Maybe we long for happiness for too many times in our life, without truly appreciating it. Happiness is a state of mind or feeling experienced differently by each one of us. The recipe of happiness is different for each one of us. We can not say something certain about happiness, but we can only say that it is what every single person feels.
Man can only aspire to the absolute, to perfection, but I think you can find happiness in small and, sometimes, unnoticeable things. We must be happy for what we have, and we must try and do something on our own: “If you do something, you might not always be happy, but you will never find happiness without doing something, without fighting”.
When one door for happiness closes, another one opens, but sometimes we spend so much time looking at the close door, that we don’t see the open one. We have reasons to be happy and the important thing is to be aware of them and to appreciate them. I think that the fact that we all have equal chances to be happy is a fair concept, but there are people who take chances and people who don’t, there are people who notice the possibility of choosing out of the many good things that exist in our world and take advantage of them and, this way, they can create something positive in their lives, but, on the other hand, there are people who do nothing but complain.
If I know to be satisfied with the little that I have, I will be happier than the rich man who has everything, but doesn’t know to cherish what he has.
Let’s try to nurture in our souls the state of happiness and it will attract, through the law of resonance, even more happiness in our life.
i agree with what the proffessor said that we have to live in the present and feel the moments that are brought by this , because happy memories only bring us unhappines we think that "ohh i wish it could happen again " or " it was so lovely …how short it lasted ". And if we think only of the future and make plans and have dreams and they couldnt be realized then we are dissapointed . I realy think this is the solution to a constant feeling of happiness : to just wake up one morning and smell the fresh air , to feel the sunbeams on your face .. hear a child laugh . I know it's hard and somme of us think that it's impossible but if we learn how to accept every moment that comes eaven if it's good or bad … the good ones full lived and the bad ones like Freud said trying to bring from the negative to zero . then they become simple experiences.
When you can’t see the bright side of a bad thing you have to know that it depends on you how the problem will be resolved. Of course, the bad part will pass but it’s important to pass without making other bads.
We can be happy making other people happy, being pleased, choosing to resolve our problems instead of ignoring them, taking up a positive attitude a. s .o. The main idea is that happiness should be a part of us not just a pretended status which give us the illusion of a good life. So, be happy for real even if it seems that is not worthing!!!
Usually people think that happiness is just an illusion of a good life and they ignore every simple thing which can bring happiness because they are searching for something great, something gorgeous to make them happy. Happiness isn’t so hard to achieve. Actually we have to accept every little thing we are, we have like a part of us and, then, we can feel the pleasure and the happiness filling our lives. Sometimes is difficult to became happy because there are so many misconceptions about happiness. Some people think that having money brings satisfaction, makes life easier and resolve all the problems. Other people want a family thinking that a wife/husband and some children will make them happy. Also, there are people who search for happiness in their careers, jobs ar in many other things which can take up their full time. But the happinss isn’t a fact that someone can obtain by forgetting about bad things, happiness is a status that someone may choose to have instead of negative things. Nobody said that when you have a disaster in your life you should be happy, but you can resolve your problems taking up a positive attitude in order to achieve the happiness.
Sometimes I wake up in the morning and I think about what I would like to do, where I want to be,…who I want to be…and many times I realise that everything is just perfect…and I feel happy…There are moments when nothing is the way I want to be…and then I wonder what do I live for or what the happiness means. But I never forget that nothing is a coincidence and I try to accept every moment in my life. Step by step I learned to take a positive phychology which helps me to have another view of the negative side of life.
Director shouts…we all seem not to have heard him :-"… "Action"
Now ..the interviewed professor claims that older people have many more moments of happiness that younger ones…that's because the experience of life handed them out the keypoints that make the human feel happier and so they tend to concentrate on those whereas a newly born 15 year (*I thank you english teacher for correcting me, us;)) ..now a happy-rush feeling takes me over;)))….lacks the knowldege needed for finding things that make him happy.
The thing that I kind of disliked was…quote "having children isn't by itself a path to happiness"…I really though about this and it turned out he wasn't right…at least frow my point of view. OF course you are going to lose neurons faster than ever but sacrificing things in life make it sweeter.
Break…Lunch.. Scene 3 – "Action"
For each and everyone of us happiness has different ways to express itself. Example: the other day I had a straight face all day until I had lost my cellphone (you know how we tend to panic when that happens…damn it)…then I turned :(((…but I found it under the bed…and then I realized how happy I am! (COMMERCIAL: Does your life suck whereas there is still a corner left for happiness in your small heart?CALL : 09984589 and everything will shine again! CALL/TARIFF 9$ – if you want find out how happy can you really be just pay someone to steal your most beloved things)
Another example: For instance now I'm happy writing this!I haven't thought until now that finding something to work really makes me happy…I just thought of it like something that makes me preoccupied.It's because I put myself to the test of writing an essey or whatever this is..in another language:)…it's really awkard…
Scene 2 – "Action
"Now…the so called enemy of happiness is adaptation and with it the need for more.
God gave the power to men.Men were happy, yey!…men used the power for themselves and BOom …roots of ideas have grown into their minds…the need for more power in order to do "greater things"(of course they wouldn't do that:))) )…and so on…until everything turns to ashes. This is an example that reflects the wishes of people and their need for more and more…just like the adrenaline-addicted dudes out there:)
Scene 1 – "Action"
"Somedays wouldn't be special if it wasn't for rain, joy wouldn't feel so good if it wasn't for pain"(just heard them on the radio)
…I believe these lyrics express a lot about how the big mechanism of life works, and why there is need for good and evil, in order for the wheels to turn.
The question indeed is: why aren't we happy all the time? The answer: because if happiness would be there all the time…happiness would not exist.We would not be self-conscious that something like this feeling really exists.The secret of being happy resides in not being happy:)
They depend on each other. Ying Yang twins.
The first thing that came to my mind after watching this video is the following quote: “happiness does not exist, there are just moments of maximum joy”.
All of us have wishes we need to fulfill, goals we want to achieve no matter what. It is the main problem that makes our mind twist and turn, and not let us a single moment of peace. And we do our best to see them completed. If we succeed, can we call that sensation “happiness” or just a sense of undescribable joy. For me, this feeling lasts no longer than an afternoon; after that, I find myself chasing another wish that I consider mandatory at the time being.
We are running around in circles: we stumble upon the eagerness to have something else, to achieve a new purpose, and so on. I don’t even know whether someone managed to stop. I believe the only thing that makes this possible is happiness, which I perceive as being the ultimate aim. Who finds it, needs nothing else. Because happiness itself is what we truly need.
I see happiness as the unique state of mind and soul in which you are fulfilled and pleased with what you have.
In my opinion, happiness does exist but it might be hiding in plain sight; maybe we expect it to be much more intricate than it really is. In my vision, some of us are wrong to search for happiness in material things, because those do not last long. Once they disappear, anything related to them is threatened to evolve the same way. Fragments of happiness might last in simple things such as the sensation of a chilly breeze brushing upon your skin, a sunny day sprinkled with optimism, a sincere smile, a warm hug, a wise conversation, a reliable and trustworthy friend, the thought of belonging somewhere, the feeling to be helpful to others, and so on. I believe that the sum of these might give us the true meaning of happiness.
Scene 5 – Take 1,2,3…200…"Ac…ZzzZz"
I can see that my mother has moments when she is flash-backing or flash-forwarding in her life using me, because our children are, maybe, in fact the only thing real in this material world.We all saw movies with the end of the world (meteor shower, vulcano, earthquake) where there are sequences of people stealing TV's (big plasma ones), microwaves & stuff…and I start wondering…"my God, can people be anything more than stupid?" because that would happen in a case like that(God forbid).
For many of us the material life is the one that makes us really happy…but another question is…have we ever tried to see how happy could we be without it?the answer: wait…or you could ask a tibetan monk:)
Good night and have a happy sight!
oops…i want to correct a mistake…i wanted to say "if you want you can find happiness…" instead of "can't find…".sorry
Firstly, i want to say that i'm really sure that it can't exist any definition for the word "happiness".each of us has a different perspective regarding happiness.maybe happiness doesn't exists.if someone asks me if i believe in happiness i'll say it depends: sometimes i believe, sometimes no.anyway, i tend to consider that happiness is just an ilussion,something created by our own mind.and i'm not saying this because i don't believe in happiness or because i consider myself a sad person locked in a big bad world.in fact i consider that people need to believe in things like "happiness", we need it in order to have a reason of saying "can't wait the next day" .without this "virtual thing" called happiness probably the life would be, i don't know…like a food you need to eat every every day in order to survive without any spice.actually we are in a continuous search of happiness.for some people this thing is really hard because they simply have too complicated views about happiness…and they don't realize that if you want you can't find happiness everywhere around you.we only need will and learn how to educate our mind.i remember now a song in which the idea was that people forget to be happy, because are too stressed with their daily activities and forget things like: happiness is when the grass rises,happiness is the blue sky,happiness is when you remember how happy you are when you love someone, or happiness is when you drink your first beer with your father.in my opinion happiness is something that lasts as long as it takes to say "i'm happy now!".i think this means…1-2 seconds (it depends how sleepy you are when you say this words).in conclusion, you can't find happiness in trees…if it really exists is somewhere in us and, of course in reaction with different "elements" that surrounds us it will appear and lasts….1-2 seconds and…be back later.
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In conclusion, there are no specific causes for happiness. Positive attitude helps us in this difficult process, but, in fact, there are lots of individual elements which depend on us. Each of us can be happy; we just have to find the perfect way of doing it.
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I agree we can keep us happy as time as we adopt a positive psychology. Sometimes we are so concern about the future that we forget to live the present. That’s why I consider mindfulness can improve the quality of life. Mindfulness consists of paying attention to an experience from moment to moment without drifting into thoughts of the past or concerns about the future. As like as our body needs rest, our mind needs some meditation in order to improve our physical and emotional health.
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“Remember that happiness is a way of travel — not a destination.”(Roy M. Goodman). I truly believe these words express the best the sense of happiness. We often tend to be unhappy just because we always have the annoying feeling that our dreams will never come true, that our targets are too hard to achieve and consequently, we lose our hopes in a record time. Instead of trying to be pleased, our expectations constantly increase so that happiness remains just a dream for many of us. I don’t say that the idea of competition is wrong. To be competitive is part of human being, but it represents a valuable thing as time as you know your limits and you appreciate every personal success no matter how significant or insignificant it is.
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Taking in consideration all these aspects, I would like to bring in your attention a definition for happiness: “Happiness is not having what you want. It is wanting what you have”. In my point of view happiness is a method of life. Starting with morning and ending with evening we don’t have to forget to be happy: happiness is the expression of the soul in considered actions. “Action may not always bring happiness; but there is no happiness without action.” (Benjamin Disraeli)
Happiness is wanting what you have, indeed!! Good point! :)
I'm posting it on behalf of Eduard Bonci (group 4)
I would like to start with John Lennon’s words: “life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans…”
It’s very strange that even when we know how to achieve happiness we still don’t do it. Or do we? Do you think many of us, even after having heard the Harvard assistant, will be happier?
Happiness is present everywhere, but we don’t have time for it: to observe it, to smell it, to experience it, to breathe it…let’s take for example a walk in the park: hearing the birds, smelling the fresh air…this makes us or at least most of us feel alive, doesn’t it? So why don’t we spend more time walking in the park? Why don’t we experience other things that make us feel this way? Well, I think because we have other things more important to do, like running after the things that we think will make us happy. We are all looking for happiness, yet I think we are looking in the wrong place …
Also happiness is something very complex that differs from one person to another.We live in a very busy world and everything is moving so fast, I think this is why we called this period in which we live the “century of speed”. I think we need this rush, this craziness of running after different things.
As I read somewhere: “Life is made up of some happy moments and some sad ones. Neither can one have a life that has only joyous moments, nor is it possible for you to have only grief in your life. Just like two sides of a coin, life also presents us with two sentiments – happiness and sorrow”, yet I think life is made up of some happy moments, and many sad ones, or at least we have this impression. We are used to sad moments but we live for happy ones, they are for us like a battery charger, after a long heavy road we need something to recharge us. This is what happy moments are for us. Let’s describe them as something short but very efficient.
Anyway…..don't forget what Abraham Lincoln said: “most people are about as happy as they make up their minds to be.”
Heheh! Abraham Lincoln! It really might work!
In my opinion positive emotion like comfort and positive activities, like simple things (listening to music, reading, spending time with friends and family, enjoying the taste of food) brings people happines and relaxation.
Positive psychology include helping individuals and organizations correcty indentify their strengths and use them to increase and sustain their respective levels of well-beeing.
Certain emotion brought on by stress do have a negative effect on the mind and body.
Positive emotions help people relax back to their psychological basline.
Mindfulness is bassed on reducing stress.
Mindfulness makes people aware of their thougths, fellings an physical reactoin. They learn how to approach acceptance and when to use acceptance as a starting point, they can make a conscious decision how to want to deal with these thoughts,fellings and physical reaction.
Mindfulness gives individuals the chance to change their patterns.
I will make it short because my colleagues have expressed some of my views and there is no need for repetition; I'm referring to such ideas as happiness is dependent to the amount of love in our life, or happiness is technically not a biological need, mindfulness is a necessary state to achieve happiness etc.
I personally think that there only exists the concept of being happy, it's not a state in itself but more of a consequence of something. In my opinion the closest thing to happiness is a sense of fulfillment, of being content with yourself and your surroundings. ("But what is happiness except the simple harmony between a man and the life he leads?", coincidentally, Camus is of the same opinion, and that makes it all cooler). As a medical metaphor, happiness is like the pupil. It's not really an organ that you can touch, it's an orifice, created and defined by muscles around it, the muscles representing moments in one's life. Happiness, for me, is like the calm before and after the storm. It's the feeling that everything is right and in order in life, that feeling that everything has a reason and a meaning(it doesn't have to truly be so, or the meaning to be known).
Anyway, there's so much talk about happiness, but it's only been going on for the past century, for the majority of people, not the philosophers, I mean. Happiness as a life goal, as a necessity, is an invention of the society we live in, that's why it's such a new interest for psychologists. The only thing I mostly agree with from the interview is the concept of mindfulness, because it is in close relation with my belief of a balanced and meaningful life as the key to fulfillment, sometimes expressed by happiness.
Although most people tend to agree with the definitions of happiness given by positive psychology, that does not mean it necessarily applies to all people, I do not even believe that it applies to the majority of earth's inhabitants, of course I am not in the position to give you a clear definition of happiness nor am I to judge the principles of this science I am just expressing my opinion. From what I saw in the video positive psychology goes on and puts a label on happiness applying it to civilization but I doubt that is the case, it just applies to a common person living in a, let us a say large city from a well developed country thus labeling happiness to a certain type of human being from a certain type of environment, I will emphasize such a case for you, for instance a person living Africa has very different values for happiness than someone living in New York. You will probably think that No, you are wrong! The type of happiness caused by the environment in which you are born is caused by values that you can habituate to thus you can't sustain a constant level of happiness. Well that may be true if you believe that happiness is brought by moral values alone, but then again moral values, like the habitat that you are raised, shifts from one individual to the other, for example an egocentric person by nature is not going to achieve happiness by sustaining someone else's. As stated in the movie permanent happiness is almost impossible to achieve, so in order to simulate such state I think we should pay more attention to the little things in life that make us happy , engaging them as often as we can, maintaining and nourishing the feeling that they create . But I do agree with the concept of mindfulness, seizing the moment to achieve happiness, I think we have all heard about the expression "carpe diem" it is the Latin equivalent for mindfulness , living less in the past and future and focusing our attention on the present will most probably improve your perception upon life and what makes you happy. In conclusion the causes of happiness thus its definition is dependent on the characteristics of the individual's inner self and its environment( there are other variables to this equation but I think these are the ones that have the most importance).
Part 3:
Overall it seems that happiness is influenced by the way we choose to think about ourselves, our place in the world, and the world around us and how we act in that world, that differentiates the happy people from the less happy people. This is something that you actually have voluntary control over and that you can work on in your daily life. Not only that, but it can contribute to a large proportion of your happiness. It's up to you.
Part 2:
Research suggests, however, that there are a number of variables that make a far greater contribution to happiness than external and superficial factors. That doesn't mean that if you have a lot of money you won't be happy- or that having a lot of money is bad, it just means that other factors are more important in determining happiness. In fact, a strong positive relationship between job status/income/wealth and happiness only exists for those who live below the poverty line and/or who are unemployed. What distinguishes happy people from the unhappy is their attitude – they have a different way of thinking about things and doing things. They interpret the world in a different way, and go about their lives in a different way. Happiness is something that means different things to different people.
Because it is a liitle bit longer I will split it in two parts:
Part1
As Apostu Dragos said, I believe that the study of happiness isn’t something new. As the professor said we can reach happiness if we respect some principles and moral rules, which have been for so many centuries at the top of discutions for the philosophers, writers. Happiness can mean different things to different people. For example, for one person it may mean being in a relationship whereas for someone else it may mean feeling you have the ability to handle whatever life throws at you. You might think that happy people have lots of money, are physically attractive, have great jobs, or own the latest gadgets. Or, you might just think happy people are plain lucky and are born that way.
Here's my anti-happiness review
Note: I am not an emo, nor do I harbor any grudges toward happy people. I just think this "pursuit of happiness" topic is a little exaggerated.
Upon watching the interview, it strikes me that no one has yet devised a fullproof way to achieve happiness, despite the fact that this subject has been addressed by many a philosopher over the centuries. As R. Siegel correctly states, happiness differs from individual to individual. Something might make one person happy, but not the other. Even though he talks about some general indications as to what you should do to be happy, like savoring the moment, and adhering to certain virtues, he also says that we aren't programmed to be happy, which makes very good sense, if you think about it. Now, I'd like to mention that, from the interview, I take it that he doesn't just want to achive happiness. He wants to achieve constant, lasting happiness, and let's face it, that's just impossible. There are a multitude of circumstances working against that, so unless you isolate yourself from the outside world, you might as well forget about eternal happiness. Right.. I was talking about humans not being built to be happy. Humans and all other living organisms are built to survive, adapt and reproduce. Survival and adaptation require conflict, competition, harsh conditions. Happiness and those previous things don't really go together. Oh, sure, you might be satisfied/happy that you achieved something or other, but that doesn't last forever, nor should it. You know you have to get high grades to be the best and become a good doctor, and that makes you act accordingly. As a doctor, you have to improve constantly, to be able to better help others, or just for a bigger paycheck. If you're happy/satisfied with what you have, there is stagnation. I wonder why people are (almost) never happy with what they have. They always seem to need more, yet if/when they achieve it, they realize that it they're none the happier (at least after a short while). Even when you think you're happy, look into yourself and see the truth. It's only a matter of time until your happiness needs more of whatever makes you happy to sustain itself. It's in human nature not to be (permanently) happy. Momentary happiness is useful, but the longer it stretches, the more counter-productive it becomes. It's all about evolution, and we don't make the rules there.
Love keeps people united and takes away problems. "Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things". When you watch those people without love is like you would look to someone in the dark. When you feel love for people is like you turned on the light. Then you can see all the wonders around you. The dark is scary and you are alone.
From my experience I can say that loving people makes you happy. It takes your eyes from yorself and you can see people around you. What lighthouse is that which spreads light inside? For me, the fact that I have an existance full of love, makes me see people around me and this makes me happy. The light spread by lighthouse shows not just people faces, but their souls and what they have most wonderful in them.
We have a beautiful world around us. Too bad that we forget to take our torches with us. Anyway, happiness does exist and this way of life has been experimented by others.
This is the first step in the pursuit of happiness. In other words being happy or not it's our choice. We, like human beings, have the power to decide, to know and to think. I would say that happiness is a way of life. It doesn't matter that sometimes you are bored or sad, you know hw to come back to happiness in the end.
What I do really think is that the secret of happiness is love. I know that there are so many people who would say that this sounds like a fairytale. But I will try to explain what I mean. Love is like a lighthouse: it spreads the light all around. In it's light it could be found what people really need. An entire life life could be changed if you offer love. Maybe you meet a pearson who has lost hope and the sense of living. And you show it to him/her: love. People who don't have hope are looking desperatly for a reason to live, for a ray of hope.
There are so many people who say that is very difficult to define the word "happiness". It's like you would ask "What is life like?" We are not satisfied by this kind of answers. :) Other people say that "happiness" is a very comfortable feeling which we feel rarely in our lives. I've heard an opinion which makes me smile. It says that if we sume all our moments of happiness in our lives it would never pass 3 minutes long. That's sad and we don't want to believe that. We want to think that we could be happy. We want to believe.
This interview arises an extremely disputed question among people, that of happiness. It is difficult to determine what happiness exactly is, for happiness has numerous forms and ways of manifesting itself. In my opinion happiness is a perfect state, when we tend to forget all our problems, when we feel that everything we do has a scope,and it varies from one person to another,every individual has its own ways of being happy. In the interview the professor stresses on positive psychology, admitting that we know little about what really makes people happy, because we are more like fugitives, we run after happiness and even so we can`t capture it, that`s why happiness is more like a hedonic
treadmill, we are so used to it that nothing can really sustain our happiness, therefore we are terrible at predicting what will make us happy. Various things can make someone happy, important matters like family,carrier, love, friends,health, but also insignificantly-looking things like a song, a good movie, a good talk with your friends,summer holiday, a good joke. I was impressed by the professor`s words of mindfulness, of the technology to learn to appreciate the present, the moment we have,because we are mostly thinking how good it was in the past, or how good it will be in the future.This is a technology that enables us to change our relationships.As the professor says paying attention to the present is of utmost importance, it can as well be the key towards happiness; so we can start by paying attention while we are doing ordinary things.So happiness lies in details.
The professor is over theoretizing a very simple concept.Happiness should come naturally and DIFFERENTLY to everyone, since each human being is different.
Paranthesis: it is not a coincidence, that we will not find great philosophers concocting theories about love, which as happiness is(hopefully) a state that comes naturally.
There were a number of ideas that caught my attention:
-Mother nature does not care if we are happy or not.In fact, some of the skills we have make us unhappy. <- Evolution DOES care about our happiness.It's just not so "in our face" about it as the Harvard professor.If we are not happy, we don't engage in projects, we don't protect our teritory(this is about the caveman) thus we get crushed by others who are productive.In addition it is a proven fact that sad people are much less appealing to the opposite sex, so to be able to flourish you should/need to be happy.Conclusion: mother nature cares, just not in a cheesy way.
-Happiness is sometimes hard to achieve.We can easily get caught up in the "hedonic tredmill" <- I totally agree.If you stay and make plans about how to be happy(like Kevin did in "Home alone".You imagine the robbers to be depression and you mining your life to make it sadness-proof) you won't be happy.People have to understand that you should plan your career, your daily exercises, your business strategies BUT you should never stop and plan your love life or your happiness.These things come anyway and all the heavy planning scares them off.
-Moments of happiness.<-Why is he talking about moments of happiness? That should be a constant state.Even if not eternal than at least a week long?People who chase "moments" of happiness are going to become drug addicts or will end up doing reckless things because "they are in it for the moment".and that's not bad, if you do it occasionally and keep in mind that it is not pristine happiness.
-The ways to achieve happiness are by using your virtues, being grateful, savouring the moment.<-I believe these things to be way too generalised.Recently I read about the Stanford experiment, you can Google it, but basically it is an experiment on how the environment affects behaviour.This is not going to be the most realistic example(fortunately:D) but it will be very plastic: if i am locked in a basement for a year getting cold soup each day through a small window, when i am let out i will be happy just to see te sun.I guarantee that i will not be thinking about my love life or my virtues the moment I am released:P
I agree that every beautiful experience should be enjoyed.I also believe that everybody does it.
I believe that in the end, we should listen to Mary Poppins , too.She is not a Harvard professor, but at least she doesn't take something simple and turn it into a cavalcade of charts, examples and quotations.She said: A spoonfull of sugar makes the medicine go down./In every job that must be done, there is an element of fun.Find the fun and snap!, the jobs a game.
-"Acceptance"<- If there is somethig more you can do to improve your state, it is not natural to accept anything.bare in mind that there is a fine line between "trying to improve and being happy with that and obsessing with making it better.The second option "breeds" sadness.
The thing this video lacks is the presence of our crowning glory: the brain.It is the most powerful weapon of human kind.Also, an appropriate quote from the movie 'Felon' :"the only prison is inside your head".if happiness can be induced artificially(eg. Prozac) than obviously chemistry is involved so i would have expected the professor to illuminate us in that matter, too.
Conclusion: The researchers are overthinking what they should try overfeeling.
Note: I expressed my personal opinions only and do not wish to bash/offend a world renowned professor.
Happiness…..it is interesting that everybody wants to be happy, but only few of us are really happy.
I agree with everything Ronald Siegel says in his interview. I realized in my short life that happiness is not a game, it is a real fight, a fight with yourself, because almost all the time depends on you if you are happy or not. You can't be happy just like that, staying and waiting our dreams come true. We do believe sometimes that we will be really happy if we will have something, but in my opinion we will be really happy if we decide to be thankful for everything we have. There are so many little things that can bring us joy, if we let them, and this joy will also bring happiness. I also believe that a heart filled with love and peace is another secret for happiness. Being selfish you can't be happy. Helping others brings you happiness, and also being helped by others. Talking about the relations between happiness and peace it is very clear that with an anxious and concerned heart you can't be happy. I think if we really want to be happy, we should try not to worry so much. Sometimes we worry about think that wouldn't happen never….so we should forgot the past, not worry about the future and try to be enjoyed by present!
Happiness certainly depends on our attitude in front of life!
[youtube QoDsUYTiE7U http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QoDsUYTiE7U youtube]
happy=mid-14c., "lucky," from hap "chance, fortune" (see haphazard), sense of "very glad" first recorded late 14c. Ousted O.E. eadig (from ead "wealth, riches") and gesælig, which has become silly. O.E. bliðe "happy" survives as blithe. From Greek to Irish, a great majority of the European words for "happy" at first meant "lucky." An exception is Welsh, where the word used first meant "wise." Used in World War II and after as a suffix (e.g. bomb-happy, flak-happy) expressing "dazed or frazzled from stress." Happy hour "early evening period of discount drinks and free hors-d'oeuvres at a bar" is first recorded 1961. Happy-go-lucky is from 1670s. Happy as a clam (1630s) was originally happy as a clam in the mud at high tide, when it can't be dug up and eaten.
(i found it interesting to start with the etymology of this word.)This interview is full of happiness…this is a sense that we can feel. we can recognize, but we can not explain….therefore i find this a difficult subject to talk about.also i think we need a lifetime to learn this lesson<how to acquire happiness>>. nobody can be completely happy. . . this will remain a mystery for long period of time. . . or an eternity…Christian morals say that you can have true happiness only after death.earth seems to be too narrow for this 9 letters…almost all the times…happiness is confused with love…."i love to cook,i love to read,i love to go out,i love to travel-those make me HAPPY"….it's very simple..you are happy when you love…that the essential condition…time has become the main enemy in the way of joy … we forget what makes us happy and we feel miserable.
H-harmony
A-alive
P-peace
P-pleasure
I-ideal
N-?
E-energy
S-succes
S-smile
we can't know everythhig about hapiness…sometimes i think we know almost nothing…always will be a "n?"that…would not have an answer….therefore life is so magic…and we are so special…
Mihaela Belei – Part Two
"The history of happiness is divided into a pre-biting period and a post-biting one. The two aren’t made of the same fabric, however. On one hand, we have the-eternal-sunshine-in-the-garden happiness, while on the other hand, we have the-temporary-sunshine-above-the-cerebral-cortex happiness. The latter is the simulacrum. Or the other way round?
‘Gun-pointed-at-my-head’ly, partly because it’s the only one I can actually scald myself with, partly because it bears consciousness as a shadow, I’d go for the post-Adamic happiness. I’d go for the happiness that cannot reflect, refract, diffract itself. The happiness unable to become Narcis. The happiness devoid of a Vergil-guide in hell. The happiness that circles every abnormal diameter. That bastard happiness-child with unhappy and unknown parents.
There’s no such thing as eternal-sunshine-for-the-whole. Chess laws are unequivocal: not every participant gets to have eye-burns from an oversaturated sun. Pawns indulge in a poorly fabricated consciousness-misery which is taken for happiness; their sovereigns are mechanically driven towards a dumb happiness shadowed only by the colorless portent of a siege; knights give you a feeble feeling of ‘pursuit of happiness’ness, which you get rid of as soon as you notice that the horse-shaped pieces are ridden by imaginary Don Quixote wannabes who don’t have the sense of ‘treadmill-fight’; now, castles, oh the dear castles, savagely eaten by rooks, suffer from what I like to call the ‘tower despondency’ syndrome because of which their happiness scores at genuineness. And finally, we have the bishops, which in the Romanian dictionary of happiness (the most honest amongst all, if you ask me) are called madmen. M-a-d-m-e-n. Chess pieces able to move diagonally. Who else can build up strength to counterweight its own being and go out for an oblique? I’ve always felt that happiness belongs to the miserables and that madness is its facsimile. Nesting in Cretan labyrinths, happiness belongs to the doomed, to those who have made a habit out of being banned from gardens, to the question-able ones, to the curious, to the mad, to the skidding-towards-delirium spheres that cannot tell origin from end, to the lines that would undergo circumcision in order to adhere to the circumferential religion of the spheres.
We ‘may not have evolved to be happy’, but we’ve certainly evolved to be unconsciously blissful. The majority maunders in bliss. Not in throbbing and agonizing happiness, but in bliss. You know it’s bliss when you notice the absentees: the slaughtered reality, the cold blood of lies. Everything’s far too trim. The lack of an aftermath annoys you. And then you’re unmistakably certain that doubling an ‘s’ in ‘happiness’ is harder than doing it in ‘bliss’. Happiness. Bliss. What really sets them apart is that the orbit of the latter will always mercilessly force you to revolve. To run. Even when the chronometer starts bleeding and you feel those ‘tick’s and ‘tack’s stampeding towards an end, you have to stupidly run. Continue. You want to stop, but it’s too late. You’re perpetuum mobilized. And with all the burdening silence coming from your rib cage, you still have to run. Blindly run.” (Author: Mihaela Belei)
The following 2-part piece was written by Mihaela Belei and I'm posting it on her behalf (it seems I can't override the annoying length limitations that some of you also experience when you try to post longer comments):
Part One
“Happiness. Effervescent enough to outdo the 500 mg of calcium Sandoz in my glass of water. Relative enough to fit in any einstein-concocted formula. Permeable only to the definitions of the miserable. Guillotined by the blissful ones.
Happiness is everywhere, its ubiquity is of the rarest. An HPS (happiness positioning system) would be the most redundant thing man would have ever made (actually, I might have to question that). In the past decade, we’ve been running short of almost everything, from grey matter (why isn’t the brain subject to chromatics, since neither white nor grey are colors?) to energy and fuel. Our happymeters, though, have been earnestly maintaining their quicksilvery heights. And that’s mainly because in order for a society to label itself as a ‘consumer society’, it needs to produce. Produce. Latin producere, ‘to bring forth’, with its 1745 particular sense of ‘agricultural production’. That’s the production of happiness. Happiness as an agricultural product. We yearn for it, hence we harvest happiness crops. At whatever the cost, that is. Each fellow with his own crops, which are the only manmade goods non-subject to mercantilism laws. You don’t sell your lot of happiness, you wouldn’t even dare think of bargaining it. Not to mention letting others in on how you’ve kept it so fruitful. Fruitful. Indeed, some say that it all comes down to one fruit.
I might need an incipient pardon from those who don’t buy the ribbon-wrapt stories that men in gaudy and glittery apparel narrate (ok, preach) about a couple, in a garden, and this mystic Superman (with a brain, in comparison with his brainless homologue flying in cartoons) telling them not to eat from one particular tree. Curiosity prevails. Of course, their curiosity, which ushers them to eat from the tree, is severely punished. I know, it’s completely illogic why this Superman who claims to be flawless manages to prove the contrary through the means of the creation of man (who, because of his curiosity isn’t flawless, hence neither is the creator, bla bla). Since hitherto I’ve been talking about a certain ‘we’, I’ll have to continue accordingly and spread the word (in the spirit of the holy bedtime story) about the happiness of the majority (who, luckily or not, like both Supermans). However, I’d like to keep my following words unsusceptible to deductive reasoning. Abandon all deductive logic ye who enter here. (sorry, Dante, but rest assured it’s for a good cause)
So we have a tree. An apple tree, to be more precise. And two Superman-created beings who are happy. Naked, unaware (bared of its ‘of’), but happy. So what impinges upon them and makes them sin? A slithering and sly creature which entices them and gets them to taste from the tree. Seduces them. The consequences (though they don’t match those implied by messing with the cartoon Superman) live up to our ‘fear sense’ expectations (surpass them, I’d say). The happy couple is banished from its happy garden and Superman places this non-so-happy curse on its now-not-so-happy creations. And the story gets more and more tangled and intricate as the couple now starts facing misery, procreation, illness, death and all the human gamut of drama we’ve all been accustomed to (more or less, following chronology). (continued in Part Two)
I'm posting the following commentary on behalf of Denisa Alexandru (it seems that there is a maximum limit for the length of the text one may submit as a comment so .. I'm just trying to work around this issue somehow):
"I surprised myself by feeling an arising joy in my heart with each and every word the interview went on and I don't know whether my present excitement is compatible with words and plain-clear ideas, but I don't have any doubts that all the doctor said is absolutely wright, as I have met people whose lifes could be a solid proof to sustain the veracity of these hypothesis: seeking beauty and good in everything that surrounds us, learning how to listen to what every living creature can teach us and to the message, the lore that even stones carry within them, opening our soul to the world we take part in as the only place we rightfully belong until death should open new pathways for life, understanding that we were born for life, we were born to live and to last as we are spiritually immortals, that life is not a result of chance, but we were created as a response to Love itself''s wish to share itself and that we life to gain the eternal love, the absolute happiness, goals that guide not only Christianity, but most of world's religions-as far as I have read, Buddhism claims that a soul embodies until it learns how to live, until it finds harmony, happiness, peace, love, wisdom here, on Earth; similar ideas are also teached by Jesus, that heaven resides in us and that only those who shall bring peace inside ones heart while still in this life, shall enter the eternal happiness. I think that reaching to fulfilment has never been a matter of blindly obeying certain religious teaching, (because I have met religious persons that were far from being called true believers) but paying careful attention to ones conscience, that voice deep rooted in our hearts that helps us lead our lives towards foreverlasting happiness,but this takes a skill which was called "mindfulness" by the doctor who gave the interview. In Romanian, we have a similar word, most often used in clerical language- "trezvie"-it refers to being present in our lives every moment, but its full meaning is difficult to reach for outsiders and I was only revealed that we should stop giving so much importance to the discontentment in our lives and start "bringing up" the harmony -stop exhausting yourselves by feeling bitter for not having either enough time, or the possibility to live your lifes according to our expectations, our dreams and start focusing upon what we can change into better instead of whining about we can't change; we should unleash our curiousity to descover ourselves by permanently paying attention to our thoughts, to our reactions, to our emotions, trying to develop ourselves, expand our life, setting our minds and hearts free from the routine we sometimes have to attend as part of the system in which we earn a living- being in the system, but beyond it at the same time- and constantly seeking a good meaning for this life while we make time to breathe in all the flavours of life, its beauty, its sorrow, its divine, its torment, every second before it's gone. The key to unlock the secrets has been given to us, happiness is not a previlege of Divinity only, it's a divine privilege that life offers to us all, but few are the ones of actually living it. "Enjoy the process!"
Sachinette
Happiness has been on people’s minds one way or another since the classical era and now hundreds of years later I still think we don’t have the answer to what happiness is and how it could be achieved. This is partly because we are so different we come from different cultures, different languages, different values, different environments, etc. This greatly alters the way we experience the world and the way we solve problems, there are some common points but these don’t count as much. It is true that I find the professor’s theory interesting but I dare to say that he’s only scratching the surface simply because it only refers to the common points (wealth, health, family, jobs). In reality things are more complex not to mention that what we call happiness is many times just an illusion, “mist which fades in the light of the sun”, the proof is that happiness takes different forms for different people but it always seems to fade at one point. Maybe because we get used to what makes us happy and we go numb like the professor said at one point. Maybe we’re not meant to be happy because often one’s happiness means misfortune for another. For example someone gets promoted as a result of a competition sure he is happy but the other competitors are not because they didn’t succeed even if they worked hard to. Also I would like to point that virtues do not guarantee happiness and here I’ll use an example: we all passed the admission test trough our strengths and trough work, we were happy then yet I doubt that after one year we’ll be as happy as we were when we saw we passed.
Positive psychology is a good step forward because it might offer us the markers, the blueprint for happiness but it can only do that. The rest is up to us, because in the end it is all about the choices we make and these have happiness as our goal in one form or another. But who knows maybe this new way of approaching happiness could give us in time the answer to one of the biggest questions of mankind.
Well, in my opinion, the study of happiness isn’t something new, for a long time, many philosophers have tried to show us the path to happiness. Moreover, religion also tries to lead us to an absolute happiness. But yes, positive psychology in Ronald D. Siegel’s opinion is something we should take into account. I believe that each one of us should have his own ,,discipline” or ,,science” or simply ,,art” regarding happiness and we have to be our own philosophers that dwell on this subject. We each know what makes us happy. I have to say that I agree with Ronald D. Siegel regarding the fact that we should be happy with what we got, we should appreciate our qualities despite being angry for our imperfection.
As a conclusion, Aristotle said ,, Happiness belongs to the self-sufficient”, Mohandas K. Gandhi : ,, Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony.”, this makes them happy, and we have to write down our own quotation regarding our happiness, even if it is more or less the same compared to others. Each one of us is unique!
It is interesting to know that positive psychology is the scientific study of happiness, as a more specific discipline focused on this psychological particularity. I believe that one does not necessarily achieve happiness only by eliminating anxiety, depression and other means of mental illness because there are normal, ordinary people who have still not reached a so-called peak of happiness. Moreover, there are people whose achievements did not bring them a constant happiness. I think that the five ways that the professor mentions can be used by anybody, but, in my opinion, this theory is too general for the complexity of happiness; focusing upon the present is not enough. For example, I do not see how much contributes to my happiness the fact that I think about writing this essay while I am writing it. The mindfulness technique seems incomplete to me. On the whole, positive psychology is a good start in finding what actually makes someone truly and constantly happy, but it needs improvement, it seems incomplete to me in this stage.
In my opinion this interview is a little bit idilic. Reaching the full happiness is an utopia. Happiness means moments of happiness, things that make us happy or should I say bring a sourt of satisfaction at a psychological level. If it were to be true, than this world would've been perfect. One should admit the fact that it is hard and impossible for the human psychic to leave behind everything that has a negative impact on it and concentrate all the time on the present moment, like feeling the grass. Because of our sentimental and moral construction, as humans, we cannot desconnect that easy from all the things that happen around us. I admit that there are moments when such an experience is possible, but I cannot think that one can reach full happiness. As the professor said we can reach happiness if we respect some principles and moral rules, which have been for so many centuries at the top of discutions for the philosophers, writers etc. and indeed I agree that new things can bring positive changes in ones life. My conclusion is that life as a full happiness is impossible because by becoming a constant way of being it would exclude the notion that defines it; that is the oposite of happiness(i.e. sorrow, sadness etc.). As Kant said man cannot comprehend a concept without the opposite of it, like good without bad or beautifull without ugly. This maxims, or ideas driven to the extreme are the result of the man's wish to believe that they actually controll their lives and the world.
Extremely interesting interview.If you hear it again and again,you can really find yourself in it.I personally found myself in a lot of the professors explanations,especially those regarding the fact that things that make me happy tend to become a routine and make me feel there's not the same doze of happiness as it was before.Still,being a very inventive person I do all the thing that are making me happy,different every day,or if not different than I add a little bit of freshness mixed with a little bit of craziness and a lots of chocolate and there you have it happy day!
Not everyone has a genetic happiness,but it's true that even if you're not born with it you can easily have it trough small things,things you like,things that put a smile on your face.I hope I won't upset you,but if I may I would like you to know that during the interview,while the professor was speaking I felt like I was hearing you speak because you have almost the same voice as the professor and certainly the same patience and kindness.
This interview was a real lesson for me,and in the same time a reinforcement of the fact that we as human beings,are lucky to have this gift called elevated brain that can allow us to do anything we want as long as we strongly believe in what we wish for.As far as I'm concerned,happiness,like the professor said is a thing you are born with and the secret of being really happy(besides doing things with all your heart),is to actually know,how to cultivate your genetic happiness.
I really found myself in the 5 ways to achieve happiness and maybe I'm extremely optimistic but I strongly believe that we can be happy for any reason,like seeing a beautiful sunset with a person we love next to us,calling a friend you really miss, feeling the sweet summer breeze over our shoulders,or living a dream we aimed for almost an year,like becoming medical student.Yes,things that make us happy can become a routine but the trick is to do those things different every day,so that we can find the joy of doing it again and again because of the joy and satisfaction that is filling up our soul while doing that.
I end this mini essay by quoting a fragment from Paolo's Coelho:""When you really want something to happen, the whole universe conspires so that your wish comes true.""It's in our hands to be happy!
What is happiness in fact?This word has the same meaning but is misunderstood by us all.Every day I find reasons to be happy.You can find reasons to smile and to be happy in every thing that surrounds us you just have to really want it.Yes,it is true that in order to find happiness you have to run and never stop.Happiness doesn't have limits it is just endless.Every person has a number of happiness receivers.Definitely these receivers have a great importance in our lives.our brain perceives everything at is nice and everything that it isn't.The way you think can influence on happiness.If you are happy it means that you have everything.There isn't any lesson on happiness that you have to follow.For me happiness means that the persons around me have to be happy.
Just like Mark Twain said:"The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up."